Week of 10/27/2008 What a week it was last week. Not as busy as usual but still enough to keep you thinking...."ok, when did I turn over control of my life to someone else??" Chris and I went and voted last week, this was my first time voting...ever!! I totally felt like an adult afterwards. As I have always heard....now I can complain if I don't like something. I feel really good about my choice, I did a lot...a LOT of research on my candidate and in the long run decided that there is no one that is qualified to run this country. So I just picked the lesser of the two evils.
On to the more personal side of life, my relationship with my mother has not gotten any better, I was just thinking over the weekend about maybe calling her and talking to her but then I didn't....yeah, chickened out. Don't judge me, until you have walked a mile in my shoes with this woman. So on Tuesday, she calls and leaves this nasty little voicemail for my daughter.....just dripping with sarcasm and hatefulness....like I wasn't going to hear the message....I mean come on people, the child is 6 and the phone is mine....like I wasn't going to hear the message!!! Crazier than I first thought!! Oh well, what can you do...you can't pick them. You only have to deal with what you got. Lord, give me strength, slow to anger...that is my new mantra!!! Can you picture me sitting in the middle of the floor indian style, and humming this phrase over and over and over and over.....
I have to say though, through every bit of craziness in my life and and every bit of drama that goes on....the thing that I have found over and over is that I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life. I had an awful day the other evening and it just seemed like everything had gone wrong and the kids couldn't stay in the same room together without one of them breathing too loud for the other's comfort and I had just had it. I storm off into the bedroom where Chris is changing clothes and I am mumbling under my breath about one thing or another and snatching clothes out of the floor for the laundry and the whole time I am just ranting....then I look up at him and he is standing there and I say, "this isn't about you... I am just in a bad mood"...to which he replys with that smile that I can't resist....."Really, you don't say". I lost it, I started laughing and couldn't stop. I told him later...that is why we are so good together...he made me stop and just laugh. I hug him and tell him daily that I love him, but in my heart it is more than just love....he saves me, he pulls me up and through my rough days!! I love you baby!!
Until next time...be sweet and don't eat too many sweets this halloween!! BOO!!!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Feeling Lost
Good Morning, it is another beautiful fall morning. Cool, crisp air, had frost on our windows this morning. I am looking forward to the leaves all changing and then having to drag out the long sleeves again. Nice!! This is my favorite time of year.
I am so blessed, I have great kids, a wonderful husband, great friends, a roof over our heads and money in the bank....so why is that at times I feel lost. I don't mean the kind of lost that you have at the world's largest shopping mall and you took a wrong turn kind of lost. I mean the lost that you feel inside....like something is missing. I am struggling so hard to get deeper into my spiritual life and I find the devil is hard at work on that as well. He is trying everything possible to keep me from that closer walk with the Lord. I go to church, I listen and sing the songs, I listen to the Pastor preach, I try to do what is right but at the very core, it feels like a show sometimes. I hate this feeling. I want to know, that I know, that I know, that I know.....(one of my favorite sayings from a great lady). I want to have my joy back...not the kind of joy that comes from my family. I want the joy of knowing that Christ is at work in my life. I have lost that feeling, and it saddens me greatly. I told a friend recently that there are times that I feel like I am just going through the motions and I don't know how to make it stop.
I am making it my mission starting today to get more into the Word, spend more time in prayer, more time in submission and get back what the enemy is trying to steal from me.
Sorry, didn't mean to get on my pulpit today but it is really a burden on my heart recently and I just needed to get it out. Because honestly, the only way you can have the peace and joy and love is from Him. I am desperate to have it back.
Oh well, till next next, be sweet and get lost in prayer, in the word and in the end..get found!!
I am so blessed, I have great kids, a wonderful husband, great friends, a roof over our heads and money in the bank....so why is that at times I feel lost. I don't mean the kind of lost that you have at the world's largest shopping mall and you took a wrong turn kind of lost. I mean the lost that you feel inside....like something is missing. I am struggling so hard to get deeper into my spiritual life and I find the devil is hard at work on that as well. He is trying everything possible to keep me from that closer walk with the Lord. I go to church, I listen and sing the songs, I listen to the Pastor preach, I try to do what is right but at the very core, it feels like a show sometimes. I hate this feeling. I want to know, that I know, that I know, that I know.....(one of my favorite sayings from a great lady). I want to have my joy back...not the kind of joy that comes from my family. I want the joy of knowing that Christ is at work in my life. I have lost that feeling, and it saddens me greatly. I told a friend recently that there are times that I feel like I am just going through the motions and I don't know how to make it stop.
I am making it my mission starting today to get more into the Word, spend more time in prayer, more time in submission and get back what the enemy is trying to steal from me.
Sorry, didn't mean to get on my pulpit today but it is really a burden on my heart recently and I just needed to get it out. Because honestly, the only way you can have the peace and joy and love is from Him. I am desperate to have it back.
Oh well, till next next, be sweet and get lost in prayer, in the word and in the end..get found!!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Week of 10/12/08
Taking time out to remember this week
This past week has just flown by, the kids are out of school this coming up week for fall break. I will only have Kylie for the whole week, the boys decided they wanted to go to their dads so they could hunt this week. That's ok, it is something they like doing so I don't mind it. Plus, I know that I can be boring with no fun things for them to do. Oh well, there is usually only one fun parent.
Speaking of parents, I still have not managed to talk to mine, I know that I will and that I have to. I just can't bring myself to do it. I almost feel better knowing that I don't have to fool with her. Wrong probably, and not a very Christian attitude, but hey I am still working on it. We had a family b-day dinner that we went to on Friday and she was there, not one word was spoken between her and I or Chris either for that matter. I don't know what he done to her but she obviously isn't speaking to him either. To be perfectly honest though, I don't think he cares one bit. Not her biggest fan, oh well.
I have to say though, I feel so blessed to have such great friends. In this life you try and surround yourself with people that encourage or at the very least bring something to the relationship. I have to say at this very moment, I am completely surrounded by the greatest circle of friends. I have never been one to make girlfriends easy, I have always tended to lean toward more men friendships and that still holds true for the most part, but I have found that you just have to find the right women friends and that makes all the difference.
Oh well, enough rambling for now, who knows maybe I will post another one soon.
Till next time, be sweet and love one another.
This past week has just flown by, the kids are out of school this coming up week for fall break. I will only have Kylie for the whole week, the boys decided they wanted to go to their dads so they could hunt this week. That's ok, it is something they like doing so I don't mind it. Plus, I know that I can be boring with no fun things for them to do. Oh well, there is usually only one fun parent.
Speaking of parents, I still have not managed to talk to mine, I know that I will and that I have to. I just can't bring myself to do it. I almost feel better knowing that I don't have to fool with her. Wrong probably, and not a very Christian attitude, but hey I am still working on it. We had a family b-day dinner that we went to on Friday and she was there, not one word was spoken between her and I or Chris either for that matter. I don't know what he done to her but she obviously isn't speaking to him either. To be perfectly honest though, I don't think he cares one bit. Not her biggest fan, oh well.
I have to say though, I feel so blessed to have such great friends. In this life you try and surround yourself with people that encourage or at the very least bring something to the relationship. I have to say at this very moment, I am completely surrounded by the greatest circle of friends. I have never been one to make girlfriends easy, I have always tended to lean toward more men friendships and that still holds true for the most part, but I have found that you just have to find the right women friends and that makes all the difference.
Oh well, enough rambling for now, who knows maybe I will post another one soon.
Till next time, be sweet and love one another.
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