Gosh, I have been racking my brain all weekend trying to think about something to blog about and have come up with.......are you ready......nothing..nada. I got nothing. So here goes the ramblings.
You may or may not know but I homeschool 2 of our kids. This was my first year and it started off great, everyone was all excited, everyone was willing to work for it, but here we are almost at the end and just like in regular school everyone is ready to start slacking off and there is no motivation. Our daughter's kindergarten graduation cap and gown has been ordered, the date is set and I feel like we are going to be working into the summer to finish. Probably not, but that is how it feels. Our son is so far behind, now he may be working into the summer. I find it hard to keep everyone on task and focused at times, even myself. I go back and forth, I would like to go back to work, I miss making money and helping out with the finance, if we run short on something I immediately start thinking, well if I was working we might be better off. Those kinds of thoughts will really do a number on your mental psyche. I know that our son is going to go to high school next year so I don't have to put him into the equation as far as making the decision about homeschooling, but I still have to consider our daughter. She is so smart and so sweet and so precocious, I want her to have all the advantages of school and get everything she can from it, but I also want her to not be slighted in the least and this is where the problem comes in. I doubt my own ability to do what is best for her. Oh well, another thing that I am going to have to pray about and seek advice.
Well our graduation for the first part of our weight loss series was this past Thursday night, I couldn't make it, I was sick for a few days but I have spoken to people that went and they said it was good. We got our certificates for completing the first leg of the journey. My sister and niece are going to join us this time so that should be fun. Hubby starts playing softball again soon, he played last year and I just have to say, watching him get out there and play.....wow...kinda had me crushing on him all the time. So needless to say I am looking forward to watching and cheering for him again. So it seems like the spring and summer months may be busy ones for us but they are always fun.
Until next time.....be sweet and go eat some apples!!!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Well that went fast!!
I can't believe that just 10 weeks ago we started the first round of the Wellness Steps, it seems like it just flew by. It has been an experience that is for sure. I have had ups and downs, emotional events that I just knew would send me over the eating edge....but suprisingly.....it didn't. I have a great support team by my side.
We (entire family and I) have already decided that we are going to sign up again to do the next 10 weeks of the program. I know me...if I don't have someone to hold me accountable, I won't do it. The exercise has been challenging, as you may have noticed reading my blogs so far, but I have to say, it wasn't that bad that I just said....Hey, I am not doing this. I kinda look forward to it and .....yes I am about to say something crazy here....the pain afterwards. It lets me know that I am doing it right and that I am using muscles that haven't seen day light in quite a while. I have noticed my arms getting more tone to them, my clothes fit differently, although the total weight loss number isn't that great, 9.5 lbs, I did lose 4.5 inches from my stomach. WOOHOO!!!!
I know that I have a long way to go, but for the first time in my life I actually feel like I am in control of this and not the food for once. I have always let it be the controlling factor in my life but the minute I said "God, I am going to need your help for this, to get healthy, I tried on my own and failed, now I need you" It was as if the Lord said...well it's about time girl.
I acutally wore a dress to church on Sunday that I hadn't been able to fit into in quite a while and it felt great, now mind you, the dress was very old fashioned and on the way home I told my hubby, I feel so old in this dress and probably will not wear it again, but still I got into it!!! Now I just have to work on the junk in my trunk and start getting it to disappear. It has made enough of an appearance in my life and needs to go. It needs to hit the bricks!!!!
Oh well till next time....be sweet and stay away from the chips!!!!
We (entire family and I) have already decided that we are going to sign up again to do the next 10 weeks of the program. I know me...if I don't have someone to hold me accountable, I won't do it. The exercise has been challenging, as you may have noticed reading my blogs so far, but I have to say, it wasn't that bad that I just said....Hey, I am not doing this. I kinda look forward to it and .....yes I am about to say something crazy here....the pain afterwards. It lets me know that I am doing it right and that I am using muscles that haven't seen day light in quite a while. I have noticed my arms getting more tone to them, my clothes fit differently, although the total weight loss number isn't that great, 9.5 lbs, I did lose 4.5 inches from my stomach. WOOHOO!!!!
I know that I have a long way to go, but for the first time in my life I actually feel like I am in control of this and not the food for once. I have always let it be the controlling factor in my life but the minute I said "God, I am going to need your help for this, to get healthy, I tried on my own and failed, now I need you" It was as if the Lord said...well it's about time girl.
I acutally wore a dress to church on Sunday that I hadn't been able to fit into in quite a while and it felt great, now mind you, the dress was very old fashioned and on the way home I told my hubby, I feel so old in this dress and probably will not wear it again, but still I got into it!!! Now I just have to work on the junk in my trunk and start getting it to disappear. It has made enough of an appearance in my life and needs to go. It needs to hit the bricks!!!!
Oh well till next time....be sweet and stay away from the chips!!!!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Possible explanation to last week
I just have to apologize right now for last week's ramblings in my post, I had thoughts in my head but they came out nothing like what I wanted. I read it a couple of days later and was like....what the crap was that all about? Then in God's infinite wisdom at our Sunday night small group we started a new bible study about Life Lessons, funny, I was going to title my blog last week that same thing.....anywho.....it was talking about life's and the world's unspoken rules. I think at times I have a hard time with the unspoken rules, I need to know what is expected of me at all times. I am not a fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal. Tell me what you want and then leave me alone to try and put my own Karen'ism on it.
My husband can totally attest to this, I drive him crazy asking all the time, what am I doing wrong, just be nice about it and then let it go. I will do my best to fix it. It all goes back to self confidence and my lack of it. I always assume that people are talking about me when they bring up hypothetical situations, or if I see people talking in a corner quietly, it immediately makes me think they are bad mouthing me. I mean come on, people have other things to talk about besides me, but in my sick little world, my walls go up. I have let alot of this go over the years, so you can imagine how bad it used to be. WHEW!!! It is hard being the mayor in my little world.
Well onto another subject that helps me deal with this cruel little world, food.... The weigh in this past week, I lost another pound, so that makes my grand total 10 now. I can tell a difference in the way my clothes fit but just to look at me, I still have so much weight to lose that it is hard to see a difference. But I am telling you this is so hard, I love to eat, I love all the great food that we have in this world...YUMMY, I have to say the thing I am missing most is the sweet stuff and chips. I could eat a whole sleeve of pringles, just the plain ones...lick the salt off of them and crunch them on down. But I won't , I made a vow to myself that I would change for once in my life I am going to do this for me. I said at first that I wanted to do this so my husband could be proud of me, but I really want to be proud of myself. I have to do this for me and no one else or it will never work.
Till next week...be sweet!!!
My husband can totally attest to this, I drive him crazy asking all the time, what am I doing wrong, just be nice about it and then let it go. I will do my best to fix it. It all goes back to self confidence and my lack of it. I always assume that people are talking about me when they bring up hypothetical situations, or if I see people talking in a corner quietly, it immediately makes me think they are bad mouthing me. I mean come on, people have other things to talk about besides me, but in my sick little world, my walls go up. I have let alot of this go over the years, so you can imagine how bad it used to be. WHEW!!! It is hard being the mayor in my little world.
Well onto another subject that helps me deal with this cruel little world, food.... The weigh in this past week, I lost another pound, so that makes my grand total 10 now. I can tell a difference in the way my clothes fit but just to look at me, I still have so much weight to lose that it is hard to see a difference. But I am telling you this is so hard, I love to eat, I love all the great food that we have in this world...YUMMY, I have to say the thing I am missing most is the sweet stuff and chips. I could eat a whole sleeve of pringles, just the plain ones...lick the salt off of them and crunch them on down. But I won't , I made a vow to myself that I would change for once in my life I am going to do this for me. I said at first that I wanted to do this so my husband could be proud of me, but I really want to be proud of myself. I have to do this for me and no one else or it will never work.
Till next week...be sweet!!!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Weekly Update 3-6-08
It's hard to believe another week has come and gone. Another weigh in day, is it just me or do these seem to be coming quite a bit?? Well we will see, I have been sick this past week and not had much of an appetite so hopefully that will have helped, we will see.
I realized something this week, no matter how old we get we never stop seeking the approval of our parents and when we don't get it, it still hurts no matter the age. As kids we try to do everything right so that they will notice, we get the good grades, we mind the rules, we make the right choices, but still goes unnoticed. Then when we get to be adults we start to notice the little "over sights" the missed I love you, the little hidden jabs at times, the missed birthdays, the remarks that are intended purely for my 'growth", gee thanks, but you know what, you can keep them. I know that in my life I may not be the best mom or the best wife or the best housekeeper but I am doing the best I can and feel like I am a better parent to my kids and that is all that matters as we are supposed to take a little bit of everything we learned (good or bad) and use it to be better parents. I do know that as a wife I can honestly say that I have learned nothing except how to not be that type of wife. I have a wonderful husband whom I love and adore and would never dream of not letting him know what he means to me. I would never dream of cheating on my husband or making him him feel like he is less than the most important person in my life.
My life has been anything but easy, I married the first time just to get out of my house I think, anything would be better than staying, boy talk about wrong!! I ended up putting myself into a loveless marriage and then ended up losing part of myself in the process, all for just trying to get out of a less than perfect family life. Now if you asked my parents, where they good parents, they would say yes probably, so who knows what is right or wrong. All I know is that I am 37 years old and I am tired of trying to make people happy, while in the meantime, everyone else seems to be moving on and I am the only one still standing around waiting on the bus that has already ran.
Until next time....
I realized something this week, no matter how old we get we never stop seeking the approval of our parents and when we don't get it, it still hurts no matter the age. As kids we try to do everything right so that they will notice, we get the good grades, we mind the rules, we make the right choices, but still goes unnoticed. Then when we get to be adults we start to notice the little "over sights" the missed I love you, the little hidden jabs at times, the missed birthdays, the remarks that are intended purely for my 'growth", gee thanks, but you know what, you can keep them. I know that in my life I may not be the best mom or the best wife or the best housekeeper but I am doing the best I can and feel like I am a better parent to my kids and that is all that matters as we are supposed to take a little bit of everything we learned (good or bad) and use it to be better parents. I do know that as a wife I can honestly say that I have learned nothing except how to not be that type of wife. I have a wonderful husband whom I love and adore and would never dream of not letting him know what he means to me. I would never dream of cheating on my husband or making him him feel like he is less than the most important person in my life.
My life has been anything but easy, I married the first time just to get out of my house I think, anything would be better than staying, boy talk about wrong!! I ended up putting myself into a loveless marriage and then ended up losing part of myself in the process, all for just trying to get out of a less than perfect family life. Now if you asked my parents, where they good parents, they would say yes probably, so who knows what is right or wrong. All I know is that I am 37 years old and I am tired of trying to make people happy, while in the meantime, everyone else seems to be moving on and I am the only one still standing around waiting on the bus that has already ran.
Until next time....
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