Weekly Update 2/29th

Gosh, that is all I can say about this week, it has been a roller coaster ride. Monday was good, Tuesday was the exercise class and they tried yet once again to kick our butts, we held strong though. I have had a little extra motivation this week as well, my darling daughter who is 5 and going on 30 started telling me on Monday that she wanted me to lose 5 pounds this week, I was like, well honey, I will try but to lose that much is really tough. Especially seeing how I gained 2 pounds last week, I do have an excuse though, Ladies you will understand when I say.....PMS Week. I rest my case. So then on Wednesday morning we got some devastating news, our dear friend Carol passed away, she had been in the hospital for about a week and was in alot of pain and the dr's still couldn't determine what was going on, they first thought hepatitis and then a blocked small intestine duct and then eventually said that more testing was going to be done, mean while she continued to decline and on Wednesday morning the Lord decided it was time for her to stop suffering and took her home. My mind says that she is better off, but my heart still hurts for this beautiful, wonderful, strong woman. I will miss her smiling face and big warm heart.
You know they say that when things happen that shake you to your core you start to reevaluate and it is true, the small little piddly things just are not worth the time and energy it takes to take you away from your focus. God has a plan for all of our lives and the Devil tries so hard to throw us the proverbial curve ball, trying to get us off that purpose, but it is then that we have to stand up stronger and declare, I will not be moved, I will not be shaken.
Anyway, back to the week, Thursday was weigh in day, I stood up on the scales and guess what.....5 pounds. I was like ok, I have a new motivator, my daughter, I am going to let her kick my butt into losing this weight, just kidding, no kid needs that kind of pressure. But it was still cool to see her face light up when I told her I had done the 5 pounds, she was very happy for me.
After a very rough weekend and even rougher last half of the week, I am hoping that this next week will promise to be a better one, I don't know how much more emotional stuff I can take, but that is when the Lord says that he will come alongside us, never giving us more that we can handle as long as we have him.

Until next week, be blessed and go hug someone you love and tell them what they mean to you as we never know what tomorrow holds....

I might have a clue

Well today is another weigh in, yikes. I know that I have cheated a couple of times and I am scared, but hey at least I have someone to hold me accountable. I am not even going to try and make a prediction about tonight. At Tuesday's class they were thinking that maybe we as a whole were getting a little soft so what do they do , they bring in the big boobie, natzi barbie to teach us, or rather torture us. Another one of those gray areas. Hopefully she will get lost tonight or find some puppies that she needs to kick (just kidding) and won't be able to make it to class. I swear I don't know what goes thru their minds bringing in someone that is like a size 0 and thinking that is what we need to be motivated. Forget it!!

I have made a discovery about myself, I mean come on isn't that what this blog was supposed to be about, anyway, in my intense desire to please others, I have lost a piece of myself. The part of me that stands up for herself, that says, by george I am good enough, I deserve to be listened to. Now mind you just because I made the discovery doesn't mean that I have enough backbone to make any changes or do anything about it. I will still always just say...."ok, whatever you want, whatever you need." I made this discovery recently when I knew that I needed a new pair of jeans because of having holes in them and didn't feel like I deserved to get another pair because money might be tight or that someone else might need something. I mean come on, I need a new pair of jeans, why can't I just go get a pair of freaking pants. JEEZ!!! What a loser!!

Oh well, as you can tell....today is not one of my sunnier days. But hey they can't all be good.

Be sweet until next time.......

Weekly Update 2-18-08

Ok, so another week has come and gone, Thursday was Valentine's Day, hubby and I went out to dinner to one of the local favorites, we both ordered the chicken, it was so cute they cut it into little heart shapes. I didn't get to the weigh in on Thursday since they canceled the 6:00 class. So that gives me a couple of extra days to lose some weight. This exercise class keeps "stepping it up" every week, getting really intense. We are technically at the midway mark now so we will see how it goes. I am still waiting on the great light to go off in my head as to why I eat to fill "some unknown void" I have to say that I think it probably goes back years, many years. I have always felt the need to try and please others and be accepted, that is my guess to this whole crazy thing. But of course, I am no therapist, so that is just my uneducated and probably wrong conclusion. I am finally to a place in my life where I am happy in my relationship, I have some good friends, I have an awesome church family but still I want to eat. I still feel that emptiness at times, that loneliness, and in my mind still searching for acceptance from everyone.

I know that I am loved and appreciated by other people but I am still searching for that niche or place that I belong. God has a plan for all of our lives but I think I keep standing back and waiting on someone to tell me what that place is rather than stepping out and putting my faith in God and myself and finding my special purpose.

Hubby went for his second sleep study on Friday night, he said that he slept the best he had known in a while, they let him sleep with the new machine. So now he goes back in 2 weeks to get the machine to bring home.

Oh well, till next time....

What a weekend

Wow, that is all I can say about this past weekend, it was fan-freaking-tastic!!!! Oh my goodness, I am such a lucky woman to be married to such a wonderful man. Our retreat was really good, the speakers were great, fellowship was fun and just getting to spend quality time with hubby was the best. He is truly my soul mate and best friend.

Well for the weigh in, I lost 3 pounds again, yeah!!! So that makes the grand total, 6 pounds. Now only about......like I would tell you. Let's just say alot. This weekend I tried to stay good, but I am kinda dreading the weigh in on Thursday night. We will see how it goes. I am not looking forward to Tuesday night's class because at our last class they said that this weekd they are going to step it up again. At this rate we should be like toothpicks by the time the 11 weeks is done.

So anyways, onto something exciting, this morning hubby and I played Kiss and Tell on the local radio station against another couple. It was their version of The Newlywed Game, it was so much fun. We practiced all weekend, asking each other all kinds of questions, but apparantly not the right questions, because we didn't go over any of them that they asked. Oh well, we still did good, we won, they asked a total of 6 questions, and we only got 2 right but it was enough to win. So now we got a free dinner for 2 and a ice cream cake, a balloon bouquet and now our name goes into a drawing for a weekend away. So that is what we have to wait for.

Until next time.....

Weigh In Day

Well today is the day, weigh in day. The day that could make or break a spirit. Well at least they are weighing us and not checking blood pressure because I am sure that would be sky high just from worrying about it. I don't know if I mentioned it or not last time but at our workout on Tuesday night, Oh My Gracious, it was brutal. They like to call it stepping it up a bit, I like to call it Torture, but who can say, it is such a fine line there. I really think this instructor is the devil in drag. She walks around with that smile on her face, just makes me want to slap her. I think I may have some anger management issues to work thru, another gray area though!! :) Maybe if I just slap her but keep smiling like she does, it will make her like it.

I have to say the eating part of this "new lifestyle" is getting a little bit easier to do, now that isn't to say that I still don't want a piece of cake or some fries on any given day but at least I am making smarter choices now.

Hubby and I are getting out of town this weekend, no kids, woohoo.....I can't wait. We are going up early Friday morning with some friends to go to this time share presentation, the ones that give you money for just going. Ok, before you say it, yeah it might be a little bit wrong, but it's not like I am selling plasma or my eggs. I am sure that I will have a good story for Monday, I have heard these people can be pretty pushy at times trying to get you to buy.

Oh well, I will update later after the weigh-in.

I fell off the wagon

I think that is the term to use when you mess up, well this weekend, I messed up or fell of the wagon. I had ice cream on Saturday......AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! But I have to say it was so good. But afterwards, the guilt, good gracious you would have thought I just tried to sell one of my kids. I felt awful. But anyway, on to the good stuff....I lost 3 pounds at the weigh in on Thursday night......YEAHHH!!! It just feels so much better to actually lose some as opposed to not losing any or worse yet gaining.

We have a weekend marriage retreat with our church this weekend, I am sure that I am going to mess up then as well. I will try to do good though. I swear my husband is like crack to me though, he can look at me and give me that "come on, all the cool kids are doing it" look and I just say....Ok ,add another scoop!!! :) I must be addicted to my hubby as much as the ice cream.

I am so looking forward to this weekend though, I love getting away with my sweetie, and the plus is......no kids for 3 days. Just him and me....alone....3 days.....you do the equation!!!

My ankle is still hurting like a mug, gosh, the dr says this could go on for a couple of weeks. Probably wouldn't have hurt as bad had it been broken. Well until next time...be sweet!!