What a week!!

I have to say, this has probably been one of the most emotional weeks that I have had in a very long time. It started out good, really it did. Monday was good, well it was Monday, so how good could it be really. Tuesday on the other hand left a whole lot to be desired. Now I have written before about the relationship with my parents, not the best in the world, but whose really is?? Tuesday was the lowest I have to say though. She proceeded to pitch a fit in my house, that's right, my house and even threaten to "beat the he** out of my son" yeah, that's right, in my house. So now I have come to the conclusion, that my mother is either pshychotic or just plain crazy, I am leaning more toward "crazy". Gosh, I really hope that isn't hereditary!! LOL So as of today, I haven't spoken to her again and probably won't for a while and frankly I am kinda ok with that.

I do know that I will eventually have to talk to her and just let her know that I am an adult now and in being one, I will not allow her to belittle me or my children....ever!! But my fear is this, in telling her this, I am afraid that my almost 38 years of anger at this woman will come undone and I could end up in jail. LOL, I laugh but it really isn't that funny. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. I have learned that in loving someone you have to love whole hearted, I feel like I have done that and put my heart out there too many times, got my feelings hurt too many times, and at some point I have to just stand up and say "enough" I love you but I am done being hurt by you. I can't sit around and wait on you to love me back whole hearted. I can't do that and deal with the pain. It is just too much for me. So yeah, I will forgive her because that is what God commands me to do, but I don't have to let one person become a toxin to me. The bible says, we have to respect our mothers and fathers, I think the biggest respect I could give them would be to distance myself and obviously not put them through the hell of having to deal with me and me having to deal with being hurt. Sounds like a good plan huh?? I am sure it easier said than done. Well who knows, maybe we will all be better off because of it.

On a lighter note, we went with a group from our church to see "Fireproof" excellant movie. I laughed, I cried, laughed some more. It was great. I left the movie theater knowing that once agian, I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful man by my side and to truly know what love means. To know that I have a partner who loves and respects me is one of the greatest gifts of marriage. I encourage anyone to go see this movie and will be telling everyone I know to go. It is very uplifting and encouraging.

So grab a hubby, (preferebly yours) and go see this movie, it will really leave you having lots to talk about.

Until next time, be sweet and go to the movies, make a date night!!

Fireproof

Busy as a bee!!

WHEW!!! I am ready for a nap. I have been working really hard this week trying to get some stuff that I have been neglecting at the church. I am proud to say that the new and updated address book is done as well as the updated birthday and anniversary booklet. This has been on my plate for a few weeks now, I have just been slacking on it. But not anymore, I finished them both today!! Yeah, Karen!! Ok, that was my own pat on the back, I am done now!!

Couple of things new with me, joined MYSPACE this past week, this is the same person that was saying, I think I am the last person I know to have a page. So now, I have one. It is really kinda cool, the way you can connect to old friends or even new ones.

I spoke yesterday with the leader of Wellness Steps and she informed me that it wasn't to late to join for the next 9 month session, so come Monday night, I am going for my orientation and then Tuesday is our first class. I am kinda looking forward to it, I know that I will be sore and grumpy the first couple of weeks, but honestly, when Chris and I did this before I felt fabulous, eating good and exercising, it was great!! So I guess you could say I am about to jump back on the wagon.....again!!! I really let myself go after my surgery in June, not being able to move around alot and being on restriction really made me kinda lazy.

As far as the family and kids go, things have been good for the most part. Boys are still liking school, and I am so surprised with Tanner, he still comes home just about every day telling me he had a great day. I love that he is having fun and making new friends. We went to their open house last week and met most of the teachers, seemed really nice but really scatterbrained, like how in the world they get anything done is beyond me. Kylie is doing great, making all A's and still loving her teacher. That makes me happy to know that everyone is doing good and liking school. Chris got involved in the Fantasy football league they started up at church, he is like a man obsessed with it. It is really funny though, last week, my oh so sexy geek beat the church's most sports minded and athletic guys team, it was great. So now he has bragging rights for at least a week.

I have to keep pinching myself at times, I am so in love with this man that at times it feels like a dream, how could he really be mine. I am so blessed to have found this man and have him in my life. I just hope that everyone could feel this kind of love at least once in their life. I still get chills every time he touches me or gives me that look that makes you feel like you are the only one in the room. Oh my goodness, he just makes my heart smile!! I love you babe!!

Mom's Taxi, at your service

I have been so busy here lately that I haven't had to do anything hardly, much less blog. I was missing it. I have found that I love writing down my thoughts and then knowing that no matter how mad I get or how insane I sound at the time, it is only me that will ever know....well me and who ever else decides to read this blog.

Since school started about a month ago, I feel like I am running more than ever, I am a sahm and I feel like I am never at home. This is crazy sometimes. I get up, get ready most morning and get out the door to take daughter to school and husband to work, than back home if I don't have other errands or things to do and then back out to pick up from school and work in just a few short hours. We only have the one car, well correction, we have more than one car, but only one is running at the present time. I keep saying I would like to get a job and go back to work but I am quickly realizing....I already have an almost full time job. Yikes....where is my 401 K sign up??

This whole weight loss journey...if one would dare call it that, is a battle I am losing daily. I get up with every intention of doing good and then....bam!!! Give me another bag of chips or bring on the rice krispies treats. I am pathetic in this battle, it's a good thing I wasn't leading any kind of war or anything....we would have lost big time!!! I am weak and I know that..I am not ashamed to say it or....(gulp) admit that I am an addict. Ok, there I said it...now leave me alone. I play the battle over in my mind daily, I don't need the disapproving looks or the fact that I notice all my clothes getting snugger again to remind me that I am weak. But the enemy still messes with me on a almost constant basis, every time I think about going swimming or taking a trip with my beloved hubby wondering if they will charge me extra because of my weight, not getting on roller coasters at amusement parks because of the fear that I won't fit into the seats, you know that feeling watching everyone else come off the ride thinking, ok how much bigger am I than them, that maybe I could fit without the embarrassement of having the little pimpled face punk come over and tell me that I am too fat to ride his freaking ride. Or the fact that everytime I go to be intimate with my husband, I wonder if he is silently comparing me to his ex's or girls that he has seen on tv and wondering why I can't look like them. Wondering if my not taking care of myself will eventually be the thing that will kill me and rob me of being with my family.....I know....it is a battle every day. 

I think it is funny how people that never seem to have had a weight problem want to be the first one to tell you how to deal with yours. That is when I just want to scream....BITE ME!!! That's right, suck on my big fat toe, you skinny bi@@@!!! Oh well, now that is out.

Until next time....be sweet and heck...go eat a cupcake...who cares anyway!!!