Weekly Update 3-6-08

It's hard to believe another week has come and gone. Another weigh in day, is it just me or do these seem to be coming quite a bit?? Well we will see, I have been sick this past week and not had much of an appetite so hopefully that will have helped, we will see.

I realized something this week, no matter how old we get we never stop seeking the approval of our parents and when we don't get it, it still hurts no matter the age. As kids we try to do everything right so that they will notice, we get the good grades, we mind the rules, we make the right choices, but still goes unnoticed. Then when we get to be adults we start to notice the little "over sights" the missed I love you, the little hidden jabs at times, the missed birthdays, the remarks that are intended purely for my 'growth", gee thanks, but you know what, you can keep them. I know that in my life I may not be the best mom or the best wife or the best housekeeper but I am doing the best I can and feel like I am a better parent to my kids and that is all that matters as we are supposed to take a little bit of everything we learned (good or bad) and use it to be better parents. I do know that as a wife I can honestly say that I have learned nothing except how to not be that type of wife. I have a wonderful husband whom I love and adore and would never dream of not letting him know what he means to me. I would never dream of cheating on my husband or making him him feel like he is less than the most important person in my life.
My life has been anything but easy, I married the first time just to get out of my house I think, anything would be better than staying, boy talk about wrong!! I ended up putting myself into a loveless marriage and then ended up losing part of myself in the process, all for just trying to get out of a less than perfect family life. Now if you asked my parents, where they good parents, they would say yes probably, so who knows what is right or wrong. All I know is that I am 37 years old and I am tired of trying to make people happy, while in the meantime, everyone else seems to be moving on and I am the only one still standing around waiting on the bus that has already ran.

Until next time....