Possible explanation to last week

I just have to apologize right now for last week's ramblings in my post, I had thoughts in my head but they came out nothing like what I wanted. I read it a couple of days later and was like....what the crap was that all about? Then in God's infinite wisdom at our Sunday night small group we started a new bible study about Life Lessons, funny, I was going to title my blog last week that same thing.....anywho.....it was talking about life's and the world's unspoken rules. I think at times I have a hard time with the unspoken rules, I need to know what is expected of me at all times. I am not a fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal. Tell me what you want and then leave me alone to try and put my own Karen'ism on it.

My husband can totally attest to this, I drive him crazy asking all the time, what am I doing wrong, just be nice about it and then let it go. I will do my best to fix it. It all goes back to self confidence and my lack of it. I always assume that people are talking about me when they bring up hypothetical situations, or if I see people talking in a corner quietly, it immediately makes me think they are bad mouthing me. I mean come on, people have other things to talk about besides me, but in my sick little world, my walls go up. I have let alot of this go over the years, so you can imagine how bad it used to be. WHEW!!! It is hard being the mayor in my little world.

Well onto another subject that helps me deal with this cruel little world, food.... The weigh in this past week, I lost another pound, so that makes my grand total 10 now. I can tell a difference in the way my clothes fit but just to look at me, I still have so much weight to lose that it is hard to see a difference. But I am telling you this is so hard, I love to eat, I love all the great food that we have in this world...YUMMY, I have to say the thing I am missing most is the sweet stuff and chips. I could eat a whole sleeve of pringles, just the plain ones...lick the salt off of them and crunch them on down. But I won't , I made a vow to myself that I would change for once in my life I am going to do this for me. I said at first that I wanted to do this so my husband could be proud of me, but I really want to be proud of myself. I have to do this for me and no one else or it will never work.

Till next week...be sweet!!!