Well I got up this morning expecting a miracle....I mean I had been on this diet...no wait we aren't calling it that, My "new way of life" I had been on it for one whole day, I should be thinner right??? Well it was still there, I guess I may have to hang with this just a bit more. Hubby and I were sitting around yesterday afternoon, just enjoying each other's company and he says to me, "Honey, I don't want to alarm you, but I am having a few chest pains." You don't want to alarm me, it's not like you just told me "Honey we are out of peanut butter" Men, I swear, no sense of urgency at all. He didn't want to get checked out, but here we are just starting this new way of life and it is already trying to kill him. He must have forgotten that I am an emotional eater, worry eater, sympathy eater, well heck lets just be honest.......I will eat with you and for you over just about anything.
Well the exercise class starts tomorrow, boy I have to say I am really looking forward to that one...did that come out sarcastic....if not it probably should have. I have to say I am a little bit scared about it. I mean it's not the fact that I will probably be the fattest woman in the class, or that I am doing it with a lot of people that I know and who in my mind are just waiting on me to fail. It's like let's see how long the fat girl can hold out, they are probably setting up a betting board somewhere, well maybe not, but you see how my mind works. I tried an exercise class once several years back, a women's only club, notice I said once. That is all it took for me to make a complete fool out of myself. I went in there pumped, ready to go... I made it one time around the circuit training course, fell off the machine and twisted my ankle, the trainer came over, helped me up out of the way of the other die hard exercise freaks, didn't want to slow them down. I left there humiliated and never went back, lets just hope we don't go down that road again.
You always hear people say, you need to find out what is at the root of your eating habits, what makes you the emotional, stress eater. I have no idea really, if we knew that we wouldn't be fat now would we?? Hopefully, by doing this journaling, something will make sense, something will click or it could just be the ramblings of a very overweight and unhappy woman. Well who knows, maybe when I wake up tomorrow, the weight will be gone......stay tuned....
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