Mom's Taxi, at your service

I have been so busy here lately that I haven't had to do anything hardly, much less blog. I was missing it. I have found that I love writing down my thoughts and then knowing that no matter how mad I get or how insane I sound at the time, it is only me that will ever know....well me and who ever else decides to read this blog.

Since school started about a month ago, I feel like I am running more than ever, I am a sahm and I feel like I am never at home. This is crazy sometimes. I get up, get ready most morning and get out the door to take daughter to school and husband to work, than back home if I don't have other errands or things to do and then back out to pick up from school and work in just a few short hours. We only have the one car, well correction, we have more than one car, but only one is running at the present time. I keep saying I would like to get a job and go back to work but I am quickly realizing....I already have an almost full time job. Yikes....where is my 401 K sign up??

This whole weight loss journey...if one would dare call it that, is a battle I am losing daily. I get up with every intention of doing good and then....bam!!! Give me another bag of chips or bring on the rice krispies treats. I am pathetic in this battle, it's a good thing I wasn't leading any kind of war or anything....we would have lost big time!!! I am weak and I know that..I am not ashamed to say it or....(gulp) admit that I am an addict. Ok, there I said it...now leave me alone. I play the battle over in my mind daily, I don't need the disapproving looks or the fact that I notice all my clothes getting snugger again to remind me that I am weak. But the enemy still messes with me on a almost constant basis, every time I think about going swimming or taking a trip with my beloved hubby wondering if they will charge me extra because of my weight, not getting on roller coasters at amusement parks because of the fear that I won't fit into the seats, you know that feeling watching everyone else come off the ride thinking, ok how much bigger am I than them, that maybe I could fit without the embarrassement of having the little pimpled face punk come over and tell me that I am too fat to ride his freaking ride. Or the fact that everytime I go to be intimate with my husband, I wonder if he is silently comparing me to his ex's or girls that he has seen on tv and wondering why I can't look like them. Wondering if my not taking care of myself will eventually be the thing that will kill me and rob me of being with my family.....I know....it is a battle every day. 

I think it is funny how people that never seem to have had a weight problem want to be the first one to tell you how to deal with yours. That is when I just want to scream....BITE ME!!! That's right, suck on my big fat toe, you skinny bi@@@!!! Oh well, now that is out.

Until next time....be sweet and heck...go eat a cupcake...who cares anyway!!!