I have to say, this has probably been one of the most emotional weeks that I have had in a very long time. It started out good, really it did. Monday was good, well it was Monday, so how good could it be really. Tuesday on the other hand left a whole lot to be desired. Now I have written before about the relationship with my parents, not the best in the world, but whose really is?? Tuesday was the lowest I have to say though. She proceeded to pitch a fit in my house, that's right, my house and even threaten to "beat the he** out of my son" yeah, that's right, in my house. So now I have come to the conclusion, that my mother is either pshychotic or just plain crazy, I am leaning more toward "crazy". Gosh, I really hope that isn't hereditary!! LOL So as of today, I haven't spoken to her again and probably won't for a while and frankly I am kinda ok with that.
I do know that I will eventually have to talk to her and just let her know that I am an adult now and in being one, I will not allow her to belittle me or my children....ever!! But my fear is this, in telling her this, I am afraid that my almost 38 years of anger at this woman will come undone and I could end up in jail. LOL, I laugh but it really isn't that funny. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. I have learned that in loving someone you have to love whole hearted, I feel like I have done that and put my heart out there too many times, got my feelings hurt too many times, and at some point I have to just stand up and say "enough" I love you but I am done being hurt by you. I can't sit around and wait on you to love me back whole hearted. I can't do that and deal with the pain. It is just too much for me. So yeah, I will forgive her because that is what God commands me to do, but I don't have to let one person become a toxin to me. The bible says, we have to respect our mothers and fathers, I think the biggest respect I could give them would be to distance myself and obviously not put them through the hell of having to deal with me and me having to deal with being hurt. Sounds like a good plan huh?? I am sure it easier said than done. Well who knows, maybe we will all be better off because of it.
On a lighter note, we went with a group from our church to see "Fireproof" excellant movie. I laughed, I cried, laughed some more. It was great. I left the movie theater knowing that once agian, I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful man by my side and to truly know what love means. To know that I have a partner who loves and respects me is one of the greatest gifts of marriage. I encourage anyone to go see this movie and will be telling everyone I know to go. It is very uplifting and encouraging.
So grab a hubby, (preferebly yours) and go see this movie, it will really leave you having lots to talk about.
Until next time, be sweet and go to the movies, make a date night!!
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