Well it is official, the kids are back in school now. This is the first full week for all of them. I have to say that although it has been tough at times...for example....the day I dropped my precious 5 yr old off at the door and she just runs inside like such a big girl, or when I say, would you like for me to come have lunch with you and she asks....why?? Gulp...ok mom, now don't cry at this point, remain strong. The boys are liking school so far, of course it has only been 4 full days, so give them about another week and then the hate will set in.
I have to say...with my weight loss or lack there of...we could probably be saying weight gain at this point. I feel utterly helpless and hopeless in this endeavor. I feel like such a failure because I can't seem to lose weight, I know that I am a stress eater and yeah, I have had a few stresses lately.....but you would think that if I know I have the problem that I could fix it....nope not me. Hubby and I have talked about joining the YMCA and working out there...oh great no pressure, just get in there with all the other size 2 ladies that need to drop what...like 3 pounds. Give me a break!! I could just snap them in two like a toothpick.
I was able to spend some time with the family lately, and when I say family...I don't mean my darling husband and kids...I mean....you guessed it....my parents. Now these are the same people that when I invite them to a party or get together, they can't wait to get the heck out of there. It's like as soon as the last bite hits the back of their throat they are out the door. You would think I was going to make them do the dishes or something. But, you let my sister have a party and invite them....now keep in mind I love my sister dearly and hold her in no way responsible for their child like behavior, well, katy bar the door, they are closing the place down. Can they help with clean up, do you need me to do anything....couldn't have been any nicer. Do they honestly think I can't see this?? Do I have stupid blind person written on my forehead and if I do then please someone tell me so I can get it off. I can't believe that I let this little petty crap hurt me like it does. My husband keeps saying it is him they don't like and I don't think it is. I really don't think they like me very much and I don't know why. I try and rack my brain and figure out what I could have possibly done to cause the dislike so much....did I not stay in my mentally abusive marriage long enough, do I not beat my kids enough, is it that I am in a marriage with a man that truly loves me and respects me, is it that I don't work, so therefore I am not a contributing member of society, is it the fact that I am a proud Christian and try to serve God, is it that I am too nice and try to do things to help out others.....what is it...what is it...WHAT IS IT, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Someone please tell me, someone please try and help me to understand this pain. I don't know how much more of this I can take on a daily basis, these are the people that gave life to me, what in God's name did I do that was so bad for them to not like me.
Oh well, enough of that. I have cried many tears over this, I feel like I have been punished enough for whatever wrong doing they seem to think that I may have done.
Until next time...be sweet and kind to others, you never know who you might make the day of.
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