Can you believe it, another year is here already. It just seems like last week that we were ushering in 2008. It has been a very busy month at our house. Getting ready for Christmas, school play, church play, Christmas dinner theater at our church....phew...I am tired just reading it again.
First off let me just say that the Christmas plays at school and church were both fantastic, Kylie was in both and she is just the little star..kinda scary!! The boys of course are much too old and cool to participate in these anymore, but they were really excited about being able to help build the float for their school and then seeing it in the parade was really cool, because it was really great. They did a fantastic job helping out. All the kids are doing well in school, Praise God!! I am very proud of all of our kiddies.
Christmas was good, it seemed really quiet this year and personally....I loved it!! We didn't feel pulled and pushed in every direction. We got to spend the Sunday before with all of my dad's family. They are all great, but I have to say we didn't get to stay that long because of previous commitments but as I was saying goodbye and hugging my grandparents who are getting on up there in age....I was so sad. My spirit just felt so heavy as if...what if this is the last Christmas with everyone?? Morbid thought I know, but it was just very sad to me. I just pray that God allows me many more Christmas' with these dear people.
On to another note, at that point I was still not speaking to my mother. It was nothing intentional, it was just how it was. My sister and my dad had both made comments to the effect of, well are we getting together for Christmas this year, as if it was because of me. So I let everyone know that Christmas would go on, I could pull off the charade as well as the next person...I mean come on, I had been doing a darn fine job of it for several years!! Playing the good daughter who feels no resentment or hurt or anger toward a woman that clearly at times acted as if she could care less...I was made for this role...bring it on!! I have to say...I could have won and Oscar!! I hate to think what my acceptance speech would have been though...probably would go something like this..."I would like to thank everyone that has made a difference in my life....wait....that's not quiet right....let me start again" and then eventually I just lose it and go postal...no one needs that. So I just suck it up!!
Better subject, my wonderful husband Chris. I am so truly blessed and highly favored. That God saw through my garbage, my hurt, my insecurities, anger, and the list goes on and on....and still decided that I deserved this wonderful man. That I was worthy enough to have a second chance at love and let's be honest here...LIFE!! I feel like at times that my life started over, the first time when I accepted Christ and then on the personal side, when I met Chris. I look back at times in my past and can't quite remember certain details as vividly and I think that is just another one of God's miracles, he is allowing my mind to heal, taking away some of the nasty stuff and replacing it with all the wonderful stuff.
Well this has become very long and I haven't even began to discuss falling off the weight loss wagon....again!! Good grief, I think instead of falling off the wagon, I am being dragged by it....I want to use a lifeline!!! :)
Until next time, be sweet and tell someone what they mean to you!!
No comments:
Post a Comment